Take a career break before it breaks you.
In my last post, I was talking about health. During that time, I was on a career break.
Why was I taking a career break?
Let’s take a step back for a minute. After my decade long sales career, I was contemplating about what to do with my life. I was depressed. I was lost.
It was a year before covid hit.
Lucky for me, the business that I built was able to generate enough income to support me during that challenging time.
But while the whole world was crumbling. I was stuck in my own little world. I was paranoid, not only for myself but for my family.
It was a challenging time to say the least. Thank God it’s over. Or is it?
Somehow, the remnants of that time still lingers inside my head. I still feel like a prisoner of my own mind. Something changed. I can’t put my fingers on it. But I feel it.
Lost motivation. Somehow, the things that used to drive me, no longer feel exciting. More money? More fame? More power? These hardly mattered when covid hit us all.
It’s been years but somehow I still feel lost.
Where do I go? What should I do?
In 2022, shops slowly opened. The restrictions were lifted. Finally people are allowed to go out without masks! Haha! those funny looking masks! I can’t believe we were the only people in the world who wore those.
That’s when companies started calling me, and there was an opportunity for me to work abroad. It made me think really hard. But I decided it’s not worth it. I’d rather stay here with my family.
I can’t bear the thought of being away from them even for a day.
Since the day my boys were born, I’ve been with them every single day. They are my delight. They bring me so much joy. They also bring me the greatest of challenges. But isn’t that what love is all about? We are willing to suffer all the pain of raising them, and also delight in the joys they bring into our lives. Being a father is the greatest gift I’ve ever had in this world.
So that’s when I decided to actively look for work I can do while being here with them.
Initially, I had a hard time looking for a job because I’ve been out of the corporate world for more than a decade. Finally, there were some offers, and I finally decided to go back to corporate and start anew.
Going back was very challenging. I had to learn to wake up earlier than usual. I had to learn to follow orders. I had to learn to compromise. I had to endure the long waits, and the endless queues, from applying for NBI clearance to going back and forth for the other pre-employment requirements. It was tough. I had to remind myself that I only had to go through this once.
When I finally got back to corporate, I had to go through the same bullshit that I bid goodbye to a long time ago. It was tough on my pride. But what can I do? A man gotta do what he gotta do. I have to feed my family. And while the business is still earning a decent income, I knew it would not last. Besides, the kids are growing and so are their expenses.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy working, learning new things, and being able to contribute to the best of my abilities. In a few months, I was able to get up to speed as if I never left. But the reality was that so many things that I dreaded also came back to me. It made me realize why I left the corporate life a decade ago.
Endless meetings. I hate it. You know you’re in trouble when you have to have a meeting to prepare for another meeting, and another meeting afterwards to discuss what happened during the meeting. There are also different timezones that you have to work with, being awake in the middle of the night, and have to get up early for another meeting early the following morning. I knew I am getting older because while I am able to go through all that, I would need longer recovery time than when I was younger. I’d need the whole weekend to rest to be able to be ready for Monday grind.
However hard the work was, I did not take a career break because of that. I enjoyed the work. In fact, it was the only thing keeping me, not to mention the good people I was working with.
Then the RTO mandate started to happen. I was suddenly driving to work everyday, clocking in 13 hours a day. It was daily struggle.
I had to park the car beside the mall, where you have to exit after 7 hours, othewise, you’ll pay Php100/hour parking fee. No one in their right mind will pay that amount. The funny thing is that everybody will be exiting the car park around the same time, and I would stay there stuck in traffic just to get out of the car, and to look for a new parking slot afterwards. I dreaded those times.
It’s not enough that greedy companies suck you out of your money, but they have to waste your time as well.
There were moments when I would really feel lonely just staring at the window. Every day I would complain. But I also knew there’s really nothing I can do, other than to resign.
And so I did.
Did I have a fall back? None.
Did I know what to do aftewards? No.
Was I sure about my decision? Yes.
My sanity was more important to me than the amount of money I was about to lose.
Am I telling you to do the same? Of course not.
Only you know your own situation. So you should do what you think is best for you.
But why am I sharing this to you?
I just want to encourage you. There were many times I felt like I had no choice. People are depending on me.
But when you really dig deep within, you know the truth.
Only you can make that decision.
But know that you are supported, either way. You choose to stay. You are supported. You choose to go away. You are supported.
You can never make the wrong choice. Because it’s not the choice that makes or breaks you. It’s the realization that we are all free.
We were born free. We will die free.
No matter what happens, you’ll gonna make it.